GAME OF THE MONTH COLLECTION!
SPACE CHANNEL 5
(Sega, 2000)



When I do these Duds of the Month here I don't usually go looking for bad games on purpose. I don't know if you are like me and sometimes you just want to play something you think will be awesome and it gets rave reviews in the media but you just end up hating it instead. Space Channel 5 was one of those games for me. Yeah, it may look weird but I actually liked the graphics and music here so it has a very cool theme to get my juices flowing. Speaking of juices flowing you gotta love the sexy lead character too, eh? The game itself though was about has much fun as scratching the rash on my as$.

In this simple rhythm based game you play the role of a very sexy news anchor named Ulala (even that name gets me hard) as she investigates an alien invasion where they are trying to force innocent humans to dance. Yeah, strange but true. The point of the game is you must copy the alien or rival news casters movements while mastering their timing just right to out dance them and advance in the adventure. Only then will you be able to save the day and to stop these aliens.

Now this is going to be pretty negative but I can't complain about this stunning colourful graphics here. I love the whole retro 1960's slash outer space theme here and all the dancing animation is well done too. It really makes this game stands out from the Dreamcast pack plus I'm sure all the guys out there will love all the short skirts too. The music is also hard to get out of the head thanks to a great list of catchy soundtracks and the voice acting doesn't suck. Michael Jackson even makes a cameo appearance if you care or you just wanna warn people ahead of time.

All that is great but I will complain about the game play itself though; a lot! The game may appear to be a easy, family friendly game for everyone out there but you'll be surprised just how unforgiving the button pressing events can be here especially since there is no on screen icons showing you what happened or how your timing was like in other music games like Parappa the Rapper and Elite Beat Agents. Sadly, that's all the game is too, just a strange version of Simon Says. Just copy what they say and hopefully you get the timing right to keep your ratings so you don't get cancelled. It is so boring! With other dancing games like DDR already available where you can actually move around while you play and it begs the question: why go to this basic button mashing guess game? Maybe this wouldn't be so bad if the loading screens weren't so long but you have to go through these sleep inducing scenes every time you start a game.

OK, the graphics and sounds are freakin' sweet here; there are few things hotter then a babe in a little spandex outfit dancing a storm to some cool beats for example. Unfortunately, this fun retro presentation would have been better suited for softcore porn and the game itself is ruined for being too difficult for the casual gamers it's targeted for. The first level alone can get extremely fast and it's annoying when you have to worry about precise timing and which button to press too. It's not impossible but the game is too weird for the experts players out there as well. Do you think the cursing kid playing Halo that can score a head shot blindfolded will want to play a corny basic rhythm game like this. Hell no! Space Channel 5 has a niche cult following out there but these people can locked up for our safety.


Conclusion:

 

SPACE CHANNEL 5
overall rating: 20/100

For 1 player only
Rated (E) for Everyone
graphics: 9/10
sound: 8/10
gameplay: 4/10
replay: 2/10

-StarSoldier1
(Ryan Genno) 2007

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