The Total Recall


Artist touch: At least the cover art is just as bad as the game itself. Cover art rating: 0/10
Month it won: April 2006

(Gametek, March 1992)
Special note: This is the third and final Fisher Price game released for the NES. Because of that Fire House Rescue is the hardest to find.
Introduction and Story:
"Ding Ding! We have a new champion!" No longer is Silent Service the worst NES game I ever played because I managed to find one that's even more vile, disgusting, and void of anything good. Here is Gametek's super stupid licensed junk and great choice for my NES Dud Series: Fisher Price Firehouse Rescue.

In this fourth edition in my Stud or Dud NES series I wanted to find a game that was a total rip off simply because it there isn't much you can do in it. In video games like The Legend of Zelda for example, there is almost an endless list of things to accomplish and discover so it was a great value for your hard earned loot. If you are looking for a complex, challenging, and fun experience then go play that but if you are looking for the cream of the crap look no further then this so called game here.
Controls and Game Play:  
The game kind of lets you feel what it's like to be a fireman (or one that is mentally challenged at least) as you drive around in a fire truck and race to people trapped in houses. That may not sound so bad (although it certainly doesn't sound to good for a video game) all the maps just consist of simple puzzle routes that just look like they belong in kid's dinner menus and not on a NES cart.

I guess I should also note once you get to the right destination you then need to get the person(s) down from the home (which is never on fire by the way) is to press the A button. The truck's ladder is already up, there is no fire to put out, and the people your trying to save are just wearing big smiles on their faces even though they are suppose to be in mortal danger here. Getting these lifeless toy figures down had to be the most pointless thing I ever did in my life! Unfortunately, that's pretty much it for the game
itself. If you played the game for more then two minutes you pretty much played the whole game right there. There are four difficulties in the game but they only range from really easy to just plain easy.
Graphics and Sounds:  
Usually if a game has terrible game play then there is a chance the developer's poured all their money into the graphics and sounds instead. Wrong, they suck too! As soon as you turn on this suckfest you'll be greeted with poorly drawn and non-animated Fisher Price toy figures in dull urban backgrounds. There are no basic shading or shadow effects here and wait till you see the lame single coloured fire truck as well.

There is only one soundtrack in the game and its only a weak circus remix during the title screen. The rest of the game just consist of repetitive engine noises and if that sounds exciting to you then you'll love pumping gas for a living sucker. It's pretty obvious the makers of this game don't a have a clue how to draw or create sound here.

Have ..... to press ..... A ..........zzzzzzzzz
The Bottomline:  

Remember when this was considered art in grade 2?
Fisher Price's Firehouse Rescue is a perfect example what a video game shouldn't be. Problem one: if this game is called Firehouse Rescue then how come I didn't see any fire? Why are these lame non animated Fisher Price characters needing your help if there is no blazing fire trying to kill them? Real Fireman do a important and difficult job in life and don't deserve a crappy game like this. Problem two: There is no real challenge unless you go on the higher difficulty here (even on the higher levels are way too easy though) what so ever meaning players of any age will most likely get bored to tears and very insulted at the same time. Problem three: the graphics and sounds are so bad they belong on the 1970's Atari 2600 and not the powerful 8-bit NES console. Remember, back in the day people still paid upwards to 50 bucks for these games, eh? I know this game was suppose to be targeted to younger players but if you don't want your kid eating paint or riding the special Ed bus then they should go no where near this game here. If you want a good educational NES game go with the underrated Donkey Kong Junior Math. Because Firehouse Rescue is nothing more then a complete waste of time; this game easily gets the ultimate shame with a zero out of hundred.
overall rating: 00/100

Find this game on eBay here!

For 1 player only
graphics: 0/10
sound: 1/10
gameplay: 0/10
replay: 0/10

(Ryan Genno) 2006

See other Total Recall duds of the month