The Total Recall
DUD OF THE MONTH
COLLECTION

STAR WARS
EPISODE II:
Attack of the Clones

Artist touch: This isn't really art here but a showcase of the actors and characters in the film. Not too bad but not too great either. Cover art rating: 6/10

Month it won: May 2005

(THQ/David A. Palmer Productions, 2002)

Special note: Although there have been many bad Star Wars games in the past, this is one of lowest rated by critics in history!

Introduction and Story:

When I was younger Star Wars was everywhere and it looks like things haven't changed a bit. I'm just not talking about the movies here; toys, cartoons, cereal, and of course who could forget all the different video games? What better way to keep the Star Wars legacy alive (especially since the movies take forever to come out) then to have some great games out there. Although there is no denying that certain Star Wars games have been pretty good, I have found one game that is a total embarrassment to the franchise and it just so happens to be based on my least favourite film of the series so far. The game is Star Wars Attack of the Clones for the Game Boy Advance.

The story of Star Wars Episode II is the second part of the popular science fiction series that shows one man's descent into evil. Attack of the Clones takes place 10 years after the events of Episode 1: The Phantom Menace and the young 18 year old Anakin Skywalker is now a highly skilled young Jedi warrior with a lot of potential. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of unrest in the galaxy and Anakin and his teacher Obi-Wan Kenobi have been assigned to protect their old friend the beautiful Senator Pedme from several assassination attempts. Can Anakin and the Jedi order save Pedme from the evil Count Dooku and his massive army?

Controls and Game Play:

If you are confused what makes these Jedi guys so cool (for God's sake watch the movies!) it is because they have the ability to wield deadly light sabers and use force techniques to throw objects and even opponents at will. I would love to talk about how you can do all these cool Jedi moves just like in the hit movie but it is very hard to do that in a game that has very poor controls. I don't know if the over-the-top graphics played a role in this but I often encountered huge delays with the buttons and the reactor time with your on screen heroes. To make matters worse the game even has the jump button set on the B button and action button is on the A and you can't even configure the controls here.

Maybe I could stand the controls if the game was well crafted but the game play consist of the occasional slow moving blurry 3D stage and basic hack and slash in some of the most poorly designed levels you could ever imagine. Why are the levels so horrible you ask? Not only are they way too long but the game has a lot of platform stages for example where you need to make difficult jumps but since the characters are so large it really hinders what you can actually see.

Graphics and Sounds:

If you go by the screen shots alone AOTC doesn't look too bad and to be fair the game even starts out with the traditional zooming Star Wars logo with a brief introduction to the story like the movies. The game even has large, well defined characters which are easy to see on the small screen but it isn't all good. Where the game really starts to fall apart is when you are actually playing it because these characters are so large it really doesn't give you much room to move and react to enemies (remember it doesn't help when there are these bad controls here). Also the overly stiff animations are not so hot looking either.

Like the graphics, the sounds in AOTC start out fine. The background music is very impressive and it sound like something you would here in the movies. Even the sound effects are good because you still have the swoosh sound effects for the light sabers and the laser blasts that are trademark for the series. All this is great but the big letdown in the sound department is that it is all way too repetitive.

The Bottomline:

When Star Wars does bad they really do bad! Don't be fooled by the good looking still graphics, good sounds, and Star Wars license here; Attack of the Clones is nothing more then a bare bones action platformer with unresponsive controls, repetitive game play, and what's the deal with the horrible collision detection? If you hated the movie you ain't seen anything yet. Buy this game just for a good laugh.