 |
The
Total Recall |
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| Artist touch: Again I don't have the cover art so here is the Sega and Nintendo girls kissing. Cover art rating: NA/10 |
Month it won:
2007
(Publisher: Ljn, Release: August 1991) |
Special note: Although
you would think the license would die a quiet death after this horrid
game, there were Bill & Ted games also out for the Gameboy and Atari
Lynx. They sucked too.
|
| Introduction and Story: |
| Look, lets just face
the facts here. You and I both know this is going to suck (just do the
math here: popular 80's movie + Crappy game developer = bad video game)
so lets just cut the crap and get this over with. In the game like the hit film of the same name you play as one of two teenage goofballs (originally played by actors Keanu Reeves and ....um, that other guy) Bill & Ted who are homophobic and talk in highly annoying surfer sang. These two are originally from the 1980's and are currently failing their history course in school so to help you get out of this jam a man from the future gives you a phonebooth time machine to find important figures throughout time so you can learn something. |
| Controls and Game Play: |
| This
story works well in the movie of course but in the game here you have
to put up with of lot of tedious, senseless junk just to start playing.
First off you have to remember phone numbers just to access one of the
few levels available so you better have a pen and paper ready. Not a good
way to start a game. If that wasn't lame enough you then move on to the
very slow time portal traveling just to go from point A to point B, and
that's not even the actual game here. Once you're done with that nightmare the real waste of time begins. The game itself is viewed from a awkward 2D isometric perspective and before you can find this one important character in different time scenarios ranging from medieval to early American eras you have to talk to a lot of hostile locals that are oddly your friend one minute then your enemy the next. One of these characters for example kindly handed me a coin and then rulely knocked me down and then threaten to throw me in jail. Normally if someone does that to you want to pop them right between the eyes but you can't do that here sadly because this is an unoffensive game. Sometimes you even lose control of your hero if they don't stick to the trails forcing you to jump and fall down just to move around anywhere. End the pain now, where are my boozes! |
| Graphics and Sounds: |
 The low budget
feel of the game continues for the video and audio to no one's surprise.
The game actually has the actor likeness in the small black and white
story board text windows so the character Rufus character looks like George
Cartin but other then that everything looks very bland and uninteresting.The bouncy music sounds is way too goofy and it nothing like anything from the movies here. In fact there usually then isn't much in game music here at all so get use to hearing nothing but a lot of sound effects. Yeah, the weak sound effects are also pretty sad so just mute it. |
| The Bottomline: |
| If you liked the movie and you're looking for some more action then illegally download that lame Bogus Journey film (don't buy it) instead because the game here on the NES is so God dam boring. The graphics are detailed but highly repetitive, the music is always cutting off so you listening to nothing most of the time, and the game itself is just not that much fun. If I can say anything positive here is that the game is challenging and when the controls are working they are not that bad. If you like searching games and you don't mind running in cycles you may not be totally disgusted but that's a very big if. Overall the only thing this is excellent at is being a piece of crap! |
| Conclusion: | |
|
BILL & TED'S Excellent
Video Game Adventure overall rating: 12/100 Find this game on eBay here! For 1 player only graphics: 3/10 sound: 2/10 gameplay: 3/10 replay: 1/10 -StarSoldier (Ryan Genno) 2007 See other Total Recall duds of the month |
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